Member-only story
Distraction Is My Drug of Choice
It’s not as harmless as it sounds.
My mom gifted me a silent retreat for my 16th birthday. Unfortunately, it was at a bleak nunnery, not a luxurious spa. The rainy, windswept hills outside matched the stark walls and sparsely furnished rooms inside. Grey desolation all around, except for the occasional horror of tortured, bloody Jesus on a cross around every corner.
It was one of the worst weeks of my life.
A teenage girl surrounded by silent nuns who only spoke when absolutely necessary and came to check on me that one time I slept in and didn’t show up for breakfast. I thought I was just bored. There was no TV and no electronics allowed. The lending library and book store had mostly Jesus-y type stuff. I got so desperate I asked them to put me to work because I couldn’t deal with nothingness and silence day after day.
I wasn’t just bored. The bigger problem was that I didn’t want to be alone in my head. I had no cell phone then, but I had other things to distract me at home. Without school and friends and TV and magazines and books, I had no distraction from the thoughts and feelings inside. It was terrifying.
It is absolutely no wonder to me that I’m so attached to my phone. It’s cheaper and more convenient and more socially acceptable than most other ways to…
