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Inner Gold
Book Project Week Three Update
What I learned this week: Writing is undoing, then putting myself back together.
This week I feel like I’m being reassembled. It’s like I crawled into the attic or pulled the box out from under my bed to turn over in my hands all the old parts, stories, ideas, behaviors, coping mechanisms, and versions of myself. I decide what to shed, what to let go, the stuff that never belonged to me anyway, and the stuff I willingly took on because it served me at some point.
It feels like I’m excavating myself, digging through mountains and layers of dirt to find all the bleached bones, the most fundamental scaffolding underneath all the shit I piled on top.
It’s been hard and confusing, and I haven’t been exactly fun to be around. But I know from experience now that these phases of more intense or painful inner work, are just waves that will recede eventually, so I apologize a lot, practice taking responsibility, and ask can we start again? A beautiful thing is happening: I see myself a bit more like a human and less like a machine that has to function and produce. I have a little more grace and kindness for myself, if only for a moment.
To help with processing these feelings and calming my anxiety, I decided to try out a different kind of meditation/relaxation approach. I got a free…
