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Inside Job
Book Project Week Six Update
What I learned this week: I’m getting better at showing up for myself.
After decades of showing up for other people but not myself, I’m actually doing it.
I’ve been writing consistently and working on my book nearly every single day for six weeks. Aside from my book project, I’ve been journaling, editing old essays, entering writing contests, applying to residencies, and pitching magazines with story ideas. I’ve been going to the gym Monday through Friday for ten weeks. I feel stronger, because I am stronger. When the trainers asked how I was doing in the early weeks, I’d say: “Trying not to die.” This week, when one of them grinned at me and asked the question after spotting me back squat, I said completely unironically: “I’m fucking killing it.” I totally was.
What’s different this time?
I’ve been asking myself why all of a sudden, I’ve cracked through a barrier and consistently show up for more of the things I’ve said are important to me but have never prioritized before. The truth is that it didn’t happen “all of a sudden” at all.
These outward markers of progress and consistency are the result of years of internal work. It was an inside job all along. All the therapy, support groups, journaling, meditating, and talking to my inner circle of…
