Thank you for your thoughtful response, Cosette (also, I love your name). I agree with your first two paragraphs that there are so many reasons for why it's hard to make friends as an adults and I also think it's true many adult friendships exist due to proximity (built in friends like work colleagues or parents of kids your kids are friends with, neighbors, etc). These "friends" though often don't feel close or like the people you could call if shit starts falling apart. I LOVE that you met your current best friend on the bus and just had the guts to start talking to her (that is exactly the kind of meet-cute I was talking about). I try to remind myself of what you said in your last paragraph about many people being friendly but not your person, and therefore not good friend material. It's very true and a good reminder that having half-ass relationships with people I don't actually want to be friends with is a disservice to me, but also a small cruelty to them.